Confession

On the eve of my last tour as a Sandeman's New Prague guide, I suppose I would be remiss if I didn't take a moment to look back on the last 11 months.

The job I have being doing for close to a year has fulfilled many a quota on a perfect job list, but there's no such thing as a perfect job. They are called hobbies.

I must have given over 200 tours during this time and easily over 2000 tourists, and there very few that I remember very well.

I of course do remember some and I bet those people that I remember now will be images that stick with me when I remember this time in my life 40-50 years down the line.

But even though the job is the reason I came out here, it's not the reason I stayed. I could have left several months back and there were many a moment that I thought I should have. I stayed because of my friends of course. Within the confines of the job I outlasted a helluva lot of them. Some people who were only here for short periods, some who were here for several months, some of them who still are here and have moved on to bigger and better things - but not always.

Considering the amount of my friends that have been forcibly removed from their position as SNE guides, I consider myself lucky to have been able to keep this job for so long. According to Daddy himself the average lifespan of an SNE guide is 5-6 months.

I will be going home to pursue my love of writing, but who knows maybe you'll see me on the streets of London giving tours through the Big Smoke, but otherwise I guess Confessions of a Tour Guide, like I've said in a previous post, won't be Confessions of a Tour Guide for much longer. I will keep writing as I've landed an internship with altsounds.com so I will be reviewing music there that you can check out.

Maybe I will continue to blog and just change the title to Confessions of... the unemployed I'll have to see when I get home but otherwise...

... like I said right at the top of today's tour, me and my colleagues at Sandeman's New Europe, don't receive any other funding for this, so if I have entertained and informed you guys enough today, if you feel today's tour was worth paying for, then I will except your tips, but if you wanna help out in other ways, go back to your hostel, your hotel, whoever recommended you and give them a big kiss on the lips and say thanks, if not, then take a flier slap in the face with it and say why not!

Music

Music should be written for yourself, no one else. The term ‘selling out’ derived from artists and musicians going against their natural sound and style of music. When an artist naturally changes their sound over a certain period of time, it’s less about selling out and more about progressing.

Green Day are a perfect example of a band progressing. Those guys have been playing music together since they were about 14/15. Their original punk style, stuff that you might hear on 1039 Smoothed Out Slappy Faces in which their songs were about wanking alone in their bedroom because no one understands them is the perfect lyrical content for a teenager even if their musicality could have been a bit more intelligent.

They then slowly progressed into the classic works like Nimrod, in which the two combined. The music started to get a little more intelligent and even though they were still singing about the same sort of stuff it was all put together slightly more intelligently.

Then Warning had them expand musically and their lyrics became slightly more out there but you still had the sense they were Green Day.

Which brings us to today, even though I am not a fan of their new work as much, I don’t believe they have sold out. The band are trying to do things musically that pushes boundaries, and the lyrics seem to have resorted back to them being teenagers in a nostalgic sense. They are still Green Day but they are far removed from what they started out with but it has been a natural progression of music.

Then there’s bands like Good Charlotte who had two albums about angst and growing up on the mean streets without their father and the struggles they’ve had and writing songs about how they hate the Rich and the Famous. Next thing you know they are rich and famous and are the people they used to sing about and make fun of, dating rich daughters of famous fathers and openly calling their style ‘emo’. What artist willing wants to be placed into that category unless you’re so far up your own arse, you are willing to sell out.

If Jay-Z still rapped about how much coke he’s selling these days he wouldn’t still be around, subject and talent progresses, it’s the heart and soul that stays the same.

But my original point was that you should write music for yourself, not people you hate, not people that hate you, not for someone you love or someone that loves you. You should write your music for you, if a song is about those people, grand, but it shouldn’t be for them. The moment you do that you have no heart or soul, no passion, and if you lose that you will never become the artist you want to.

A Chata de Praga, what a wonderful phrase, A Chata de Praga, it aint no passing phase

A chata is this awesome place that Czech’s were given during communist times to basically have holidays and weekends away in. Obviously they weren’t allowed outside the country and had to settle on holidaying inside the country. I went with M and T down to T’s family chata and it involved driving down this country road that quite frankly last looked like it was paved the first time they paved it, and instead of continuing down said lumpy road T veered off and started driving into the middle of the field. Of course your first thought is ‘Oh my God, I’m going to be raped and murdered and chopped up into a pile then thrown in the river’.

T found good parking spot underneath a tree and surrounded by a bush, just next to the disabled parking and we then grabbed all of our stuff out the car, pushed back some branches, walked over some undergrowth until a shape appeared, a shape that was shaped into the shape of a house. It was an odd shape to appear in the middle of a woodland area.

We proceeded to walk down the path and yes, indeed the shape was a house, but to be more precise, a chata.

T’s parents and grandparents had managed to trim back enough of the forestry to essentially create a garden. They had their own things growing, plants in pots, picnic tables (albeit a rickety one), campfires set up, and everything a normal garden has.

Due to the lateness, we decided grab some food, some beer, light a fire and catch an earlyish night. Btw, peanut snips rock.

So the next morning, we woke up at a reasonable hour and I found myself able to relax in the sun for 60 minutes. And after some breakfast we went for a walk to collect elderflower. Myself, not being great at the outdoorsy stuff, felt like a city slicker whilst the other two went in search of elderflower trees and examined the flower itself before determining that realistically we should have been picking said flowers two weeks ago. I smiled nodded and picked them anyway.

After our little adventures we returned upon the chata to do a little bit of work in the garden, have and make some food. As old chata’s rarely have such modern cooking appliances it soon came to my understanding that instead of an oven, we would be cooking large chunks of turkey meat on an outside grill – not a BBQ, an outside grill, there is, as I have discovered, a difference.

Due to unfortunate circumstances, said grill was deemed problematic as the motor that would turn the meat was broken meaning that some muggins would get the short straw of sitting in front of the oven, hand-turning the meat for an hour. Who do you think got that job? Well at least I didn’t have to mow the lawn. After food we would then make our way back to Prague to commence watching the Germany vs England World Cup match…

This was all going rather well until I revealed a little too late that actually the Germany vs England World Cup football match started at four, in what would have been approximately 45 minutes. Being an hour and a half removed from Prague and only just sitting down for food it was deemed impossible that such catchings of matches would ever occur.

So post-munch, we went back to the garden retiring to the fact that no football would be viewed by our tired eyes.

The garden soon became tidy, the car soon became packed and the two travellers and I were soon on the road again. On route, a stop off became imminent as T’s mother had to be picked up.

T’s parents lived on a plot of land that literally had a shack built on it in which they housed. Surrounding the shack, they had grown lots of different foods to essentially live off, ranging from Strawberries, peppers, tomatoes, not to mention the flower gardens. The shack itself was decked out with television aerials, wifi signals, and the majority of it was run off various motors and car batteries. After strawberries and coffee, that went surprisingly well together it was time to hit the road twice, metaphorically of course not physically, well I suppose physically but not in a violent manner.

Prague was on the horizon and all was left was to pop on the internet, and of course let anyone who wants to read about my adventure, do exactly that.

P.s. from my day in the sun, I somehow managed to get a backwards t-shirt tan. I put sun-cream on my arms then proceeded to take my t-shirt off later in the day, forgetting to re-up the cream. Now I have red shoulders, chest, belly, and tops of arms, the bottom of my arms, a slight brownish twinge. I am a backwards sun-burn. Always remember to wear sun-cream kids.

World Cup Fever

I say it's world cup fever, not just because the world cup is on, but because, it has very quickly spread around the world like the H1N1 virus.

Every facebook status, every conversation, every pub, and every television is themed on the World Cup.

Now I am openly not the biggest fan of football but I do enjoy the World Cup when it's on, but does it really have to dominate every facet of life like this? Whilst writing this blog I am yes, believe it or not watching football.

Realistically I have no idea who's going to win because I don't know enough about football to make an educated decision, but from the disgust of a lot of my friends about the performance of the English team so far, apparently they are in with a chance. Either this, or like every major competition that England plays in, the media has overly publicised the fact that the World Cup is on and with an internationally renowned manager and the 'talent' of some of the English players, they are in with a fighting chance.

As of recent times however the entire country has destroyed Fabio Capello in the media, and figured that he's the worst coach in the world. I remember a time not so long ago, when everybody raved that they had such a clever and experienced coach, and this seems to be the case with many an England manager. Sven, Keegan, that red headed prat, and even Capello now have all been victimised by the British public.. The interesting fact being that all of these managers have had winning records. In for the past 55 years only two coaches have had losing records the reason being both of these managers were simply caretakers after another had been fired and they only coached 4 matches between them both.

The realistic problem being is that maybe, just maybe, the England players aren't talented enough. Blame it onthey're lack of playing time together, blame it on the media's high expectations, blame it on the high profile of the players caring more about earning money than playing for their national team, blame it on what you want, but is it really that fair to pin all the blame on the manager.

The fact of the matter is that the talent hasn't really been there. There are a select few world class players; Rooney, Gerrard, umm, I'm going dry now. But also players play within systems for their clubs and it's very hard for certain players to adapt to different systems.

So all I'm saying is, there will be a lot of pointing fingers at Capello and he will probably be fired but lets try picking on your beloved players on the actual pitch first.

Rant over

Stream of consciousness

So I wanna watch game 7. It starts in 2 and a half hours, it lasts for two and a half hours, the time now, 1 o clock in the morning, I don't think I will.

What I do wanna do it repeat the same nightly process that I have had the past 5 days.

Is Iced Tea, Iced Tea, if the tea doesn't come with ice?

Can you really trust jobs off craigslist?

Home is around the corner. I will miss Prague.

Hot Tub Time Machine looks like a cool film, shame about the title.

You know what else looks like a cool film? TOY mother STORY fo-ing THREE! Hell to the Yeah.

I hate shaving but when its worth it, it's worth it.

That will be all...

...Actually it wont, COME ON BOSTON!

Tour guide Out

Between a rock and a hard place

The rock is several miles in one direction and the hard place, perhaps even further in the opposite direction. It doesn't really worry me that the rock would suck just as much as the hard place, sometimes you just want something.

People with direction in their life fascinate me. I think everyone obviously has direction in their life but when you're at a crossroads, you sometimes get envious of those who are on one of the many paths that are available. They may regret their decision later to take said route, it may be catastrophic but, they have at least moved in a direction.

I suppose it's a bit like the greener grass thought process also. The intersection isn't a bad place to be standing. I suppose people who are not on the intersection may be jealous of the fact that I have so many options available but, occasionally you think it would be nice to have the courage and conviction to take that first step, whether the eventual destination is said rock, or hard place, just knowing would sometimes do.

...yeah

The Underpants Embargo

There comes a point in every man's life, in which they have to face the inevitable. One has to step up to the plate, take the hit, take that extra step toward truly becoming an independent human being with much to gain out of life.

There comes a point in every man's life, where you have to buy your own underwear.

As a male in this species we call human, this concept is new to all of us at some point and I'm sure anyone reading will fully understand completely, but for those of you, perhaps many of them women, who don't understand, allow me to ellaborate.

As a women sure you do have underwear bought for you up until a certain age, but you are almost eased into buying your own underwear by going out with your mother to buy underwear for yourself, this then leads into you going shopping with your friends to buy underwear and you become very adept and comfortable with performing this task from a younger age, lets say for arguments sake, early puberty.

Now lets flip the coin. The average twelve/thirteen year old boy, firstly would hate to have been seen dead with their mother shopping, not to mention shopping in a store that has male AND female underwear practically on the same rack. In some higher classed boutiques, you may be lucky enough to have an aisle in between the areas but the level of embarrassment for a boy who's voice jumps up and down like a kangaroo on speed to be discussing a small cloth that covers the area they are the most self conscious about, IN PUBLIC, is just straight up, ridonkulous.

So because of this crazy level of embarrassment in said situation, young, adult, pubescent males refuse to go shopping with their mother to buy underwear. Thus the mother becomes solely in charge of buying the underwear. There is an exception to this rule, during Christmas for example when Mum doesn't buy the underwear, Santa does. During the majority of the time though, no boy will ever buy their own underwear.

Which brings us up to the present day. I am a 21 year old male, and I have never bought my own underwear. How is it done? Where do I go? Should I set a budget? Do I want sexy underwear, or go for comfort? What is sexy underwear on a male anyway?

These are the problems I am faced with ladies and gentlemen especially since the job I currently do requires me to expect a lot more out of my underwear as I walk around constantly, completely juxtaposing their original job of collecting my farts.

So wish me luck, because whether it be tomorrow, the next day, or a year from now I, Huw Hopkins will have to step up to the plate, take the hit, take that extra step toward truly becoming an independent human being with much to gain out of life. I will have to buy my own underwear.

Review: Dr. Brown Inc. presents a Dr. Brown production of Dr.Brown's, Dr Brown

The FRINGE festival is in Prague at the moment with many a show to see, and when I saw the advert with the title of this show, I felt i had to see it.

I went in to the show with not much of an idea of what I was going to see, and I left... pretty much feeling the same way.

Dr. Brown is an act that is based upon random acts and comedy, with not much else. The artist behind it, Phil... something or other, has come up with a character that is a wonderfully awkward person.

The show opened with Dr. Brown entering with a helmet on and a blindfold, through a door based in the middle of the audience and he proceeded to try and make his way to the stage, blind. This involved feeling his way to the direction of the performance space, and do fulfill such a task he had to feel everything. Everything. Some members in the audience had never been felt in such a way in their lives. Aside from breasts, crotches, asses being felt up a lot of the audience members lost much of their belongings with one gentleman having his bag rifled through, only to reveal an apple, which Dr. Brown decided to eat. This interaction, despite being hilarious went on for slightly too long and could have probably had a funnier impact had the timing been cleared up, but once he eventually got to the stage the show began, I think.

From the first ten minutes of the show, you could compare Dr. Brown's awkward personality to that of Mr. Bean and as the show progressed there were real moment of comedy genius from the interaction with the audience to the weak magic tricks.

This involved a clicking of the fingers and reaching behind a curtain, on first instance to reveal a pineapple. The theme of random appearing objects was sustained throughout the show with the addition of tables, chairs, tea sets, bananas, that were cut up and thrown into the audience.

A real moment of comic genius was when Dr. Brown tried making himself some tea. The spoon being used was a soup spoon and simply to big for the tea cup, so despite all his best efforts, he decided to pour some of the tea into the giant soup spoon, then revealing a smaller spoon from his pocket to mix the tea together in said large spoon.

While my description does not do it justice, the performance and the timing of it was supreme and this being a perfect example of how much potential this character has.

To get away from giving too much about the show up, we wouldn't want to ruin the horrific surprise that you would have. The show changes most nights with just some loose ideas to hang the show on.

While Dr. Brown was initially introduced to us as a blind man in a suit with a drivers helmet on, it ended as opposite as it possibly could have with the doctor changed to a window, half naked, dressed as a belly dancer with a blonde wig and with one ball of his scrotum hanging out of his underwear bearing the Queens face on them.

With a bit more structure and perhaps a story to the whole show, this could quite possibly be one of the most incredibly popular characters on British Television, but as it stands? It's simply a hilarious show that you have to enter with a very open mind. If Phil does decide to add some structure however, expect to see Dr. Brown as an internet and comedy sensation.

Music Review - CCTV AllStars

CCTV AllStars – Worth keeping an eye on

This Swedish-Czech-American-Brit-Mexican hybrid has combined talents, styles and sounds from all over the world to create the best album you are not listening to… yet.

When asked the question what they think they sound like, the first answer is ‘a car crash’ and if they’re not your new favourite band simply from that answer allow me to go into more detail. CCTV Allstars are the best ska band you haven’t heard of since Adequate Seven. They combine the funky beats with what they call Full Rhythm Music.

The band set up consists of Lead Singer, and acoustic guitarist Eddy Allen who produces singalongwithyourfriendswhiledrinkingbeers style lyrics and fuses them with political statements telling any government around the world, to go fuck themselves, in the most polite way possible. The bass and drums keep his wackiness in check while maintaining their own level of insanities respectively, and the melodies fly up, down and all over the place with the trumpet and trombone making these songs worth listening to.

The global impact comes through on the album as each languages Allen sings come in all shapes and sizes stirring up English, Czech, and Spanish without ever compromising the feel of the song, so much so, that you always feel you understand the lyrics. This is clear on Puto Babylon and the hidden final track on the album The way you’re loving me as every half a line the languages change.

The band isn’t just a giant mass of noise thrown together though, like all the best albums ever created it has tender, more down-paced moments. Just A Word has this with Busker’s Song that has the lead singer reminiscing of a short while before he met the other band members, busking on the streets by himself.

To see them perform the album live makes you want to bring the band around with you 24/7 for when you pull out your iPod generic mp3 player and put them on. The energy and excitement that they reproduce it with live cannot be contained on any recording. All members are dancing, chanting and singing along without ever fluffing notes.

To sum up, these guys rock, simple as. The hard rock roots, with a fun, fast-paced, ska-style sound fused with Latin beats and controversial lyrics make them one of the bands to keep an eye out for in the near future. Due to their international relations they often play shows around various continents. They’ll be returning to Britain in September for the Stroud Fringe Festival, which is always host to a number of other awesome bands and they still have slots up for grabs. So if you have a band that you think can wrench the gut out of Gloucestershire then sign up now @ http://www.stroudfringe.co.uk/default.asp

But for now, check out more information on the band here; http://www.myspace.com/cctvallstars

The most annoying job in the world...

... is searching for a bloody job!

I haven't posted much recently because what time I do have on the internet is usually spent sifting through pages and pages of jobs in preparation of my return to the mothership.

Job hunting sucks. As a writer the best way to search for jobs online is to search through websites dedicated to writing and bloggin, but rather than job offers there, you know what I find? People posting adverts about themselves. Often going something like this:

If you're looking for a writer, to write articles, blogs, reviews, anything! Then I am the person to speak to then I am the write (see what I did there) person to ask as I studied Creative Writing (or some not too dissimilar alternate to this) at University.

Sound like anyone you know? Yup thought so. And you know what the annoying thing is I bet those people have a blog exactly like this and might possibly be writing about their frustrations on their personal job hunting.

My biggest worry is that I'll return home after a very successful year of living abroad and have to resort to my main area of experience and expertise - the services of retail and selling, a.k.a. a f*@%ing shop assistant. It almost leads me to believe that my 2:2 degree in Creative Writing with Drama is worth nothing...

... quiet you.

Hopefully next time I post there'll be some more positive news.

Peace

Brolly Conduct

Have you ever stood at a bus stop when it's raining? There's no room under the shelter so you are left to stand in the rain, surrounding you are several other people with umbrellas. I'm going to take a moment to break this situation down two-fold.

Problem 1: Lack of you're own umbrella

Now everybody has a day where they are feeling particularly retarded, perhaps you are one of those people that it happens often to - you are not alone, or maybe you just don't own a brolly, in which case that's your own fault. However everybody has a day where they are left with no protection from the harsh rain. Should you spot one of these people, be a hero, offer them to share. Now understandably if there are three people under your umbrella already then I'm sure Mr Being-rained-upon won't mind. If you are the grumpy sod who's standing there in a suit, waiting to go to your big lawyer meeting, holding your briefcase with a lack of flamboyance to look professional but loud enough look to impress people, whilst listening to spoken word, pretentious poetry on your iPhone that's reserved for music because you prefer Blackberrys for texting then throw another person a bone. Offer them to share your umbrella. It's just nice.

Problem 2: Too many brollys!

Everyone's stood in a crowd at a bus stop or a street crossing and been surrounded by sensible people with umbrellas and you have remembered yours today. It's pandemonium. You get tangled up, bang one into the other, maybe tear a hole in one from one of your spokes then you feel guilty but don't want to offer them yours because, well... you'll get wet. It's the same when walking down the street and you see a sea of dry people with they're own protective covers on a stick. Now this particular situation takes some skill and discipline but can be overcome. It's all to do with eye-contact. You have to make sure each person you pass knows what you're going to do with your umbrella when you both pass and attempt to avoid a brolly collision. A flick of the wrist to the left early can allow the on-comer to do the same ever so slightly so when you pass both people can remain dry by keeping the umbrellas close enough to keep the rain out by acting like a moving jigsaw puzzle. This is probably the hardest maneuver to execute but the simplest - and my personal favourite - for the Brolly Rookies (i.e. Australians, Californians) is the old Up and Under. Sounds, as it is. Again with eye contact you let the opposite umbrella holder your thought process and whoever makes the first move will raise their umbrella high enough to avoid the other one while they lower there's ever so slightly. It's smooth efficient and executed correctly can keep everybody dry.

Keep that in mind next time it's raining, especially when you remember to take your umbrella.

Signing off.

Booooooooreeeedd

Ok so I'm online waiting for some Czech dude to send me some slideshow so I can proofread it and I'm bored of waiting so I'm going to write here for a little bit? You don't mind do you? Didn't think so, if you did, you probably wouldn't be reading it.

Pina Coladas are so last year, mango coladas are the shit.

Needing a new iPhone.

Changed a lot of different currencies today to go home. I got somewhere close to 1600 euro. There's an expression for this... I think its; Boo Ya!

Have got a book called 'I hope they serve beer in Hell' that I'm looking forward to reading. It seems similar to a kickass book I read last year called 'The Alphabet of Manliness'

Speaking of Kick-Ass, has anyone seen that film yet? I thought it was shamazing.

Seriously Mango Coladas. Do it.

Going home Saturday, started packing, got bored, stopped.

Ooohh, ooohh also: Got an email from a dude who said he's gonna pass my CV on to the right dept in his magazine maybe for a job.

Also applied to be an intern at SLAM magazine, in New York. Should be interesting.

That will be all for now, need to check if the proof reading thing has arrived yet. I'll be back soon to talk more about PLAYOFF BASKETBALL!

Cau

So no one told you life was gonna be this way...

Friends have that special talent of turning a frown upside down, of turning the grey skies blue and every other overused saying that you want to add.

Because the truth of the matter is, there is no amount of writing that can let you know important these people are to you, so I don't know why I'm trying. But best friends are everything someone needs. There are those people that can say just a few words that mean so much, even when you know that they are always there for you, that reminder every once in a while can make a really shitty day positive.

Those people without friends in life (and there are enough of them that those with friends should not take them for granted) are understandably sad in life. I don't mean that in an offensive or jokey way either. It's really quite sad when you think that some people in this world don't have friends they can rely on being there for them.

So I guess this is just me letting my friends know how much I love them

xxx

Kladno visit... or thereabouts

Just when you think you can't drink anymore beer, you go to a beer festival and re-kindle your love for it.

Katka and I decided to avoid all the loviedovie crap of Prague on the 1st of May and got out of the city to go to a beer festival. The excitement was saturating as we made the bus journey to Kladno, only to find that there was no beer festival, instead we had to catch another bus toward the airport - who puts a beer festival at the airport? Alas we bought another bus ticket and made our way to Velke Dobra.

The festival took place in a giant field and as the bus approached it we got our things ready to run off and grab the nearest liquid sex we could find, but the bus didn't stop. Why wasn't it stopping? Where are you going? No wait, the festivals back there.

We ended up walking back in the direction we came from a couple of hundred yards because the bus driver, I think was just teasing us. But when we finally got there, Katka's first choice was Bakalar, which as I later found out is always her first choice... but with good reason.

As we were drinking we decided to scope out the best beers and make our choices for the days consumption.

The walk around the field offered many an exciting prospect of alcohol. The consensus pick for our first one (the Bakalar was just to warm up) was a corn beer. We were extremely lucky to have the last corn beer of the day as well as one with a raspberry flavour to it, both were amazing but the corn beer was especially tasty - it would go down as the best of the day in our opinion but there was still more to come.

We did make a quick stop for food at this point and there was plenty to choose from. We went with something substancy; bramborove, patatas bravas or potatoes with cheese ham and spices in english. And God said it was good.

Back onto the beers.

The next two beers were a weizen (wheat) and a cerny (dark) and they were not brilliant. They were good but in comparison to the previous ones didn't stand a chance so we sat down, relaxed and watched some crazy Czech ladies sing crazy czech songs in crazy czech outfits and a beer drinking contest. In the form of a boat race, this was a very one-sided affair as the winning team won before the first contestant on the second team finished his beer.

Out cups were getting close to empty by this point so I went to the toilet and Katka bought the next two beers. These were good not fantastic but good, and we had to drink them quickly because it was clear that despite still being early in the afternoon a lot of the tents were running out so after making quick work of these we grabbed some more food and made our final choice. Can't remember it by this point, but it was a good one, sorry I can't tell you much more than that.

On the whole an incredibly successful trip and one that we will do again in the near future no doubt. Stay tuned for more information - if I can remember it.

Na Zdravi

You can take the boy out of Wales...

University was supposed to do it, but it didn't. So I had to leave the country for it to become clear. Whatever it is I'm going to get out of life, whatever I intend on doing, it's gonna be at home.

Now I'm not admitting defeat just yet, this isn't me signing out of Prague and tourism, quite the contrary, it has just become clear that right here, right now, I think where I want to be is in Britain in some way shape or form.

My time in Prague has been the time of my life, I love it, I want to come back, I want a holiday home here, I want to take it behind the bikesheds and get it pregnant but as for me permanently living abroad for an extended period of time, I think I'll leave that up to my brother.

I'm not done just yet, I do have the rest of the summer, but with me going home just around the corner (a little over a week), I'll be doing some soul searching and maybe... book a holiday.

My time at home is something I'm really looking forward to especially with the prospect of seeing some university friends. I'll be in Wales for a few days also with some real food cooked by real people, not Philippines pretending to be chinese, I want a proper chinese cooked by Polish people.

But really that was the point of this adventure really wasn't it? To find a little bit of myself, well guess where I was hiding - Prague apparently.

I've found it, I've got it, it's here in my pocket and I'm going to make the most of it, whether its now or in September, at least now I know what it is.

Over and out

Let's talk basketball

A lot of people may get bored by this post so if you do just click off it, I have one or two other posts you can read but those of you who know me at all understand that I am a big fan of NBA basketball so right now is a particularly favourite time of year for me.

PLAYOFF BASKETBALL!!!

The playoffs are a time where the basketball giants collide, there's no bollocks of the Lakers vs Wizards or 76ers vs Pacers. These are real teams playing every night playing for the championship.

Gotta start out with talking about my favourite team - Spurs

San Antonio are in a good position: 3-1 up against conference rivals the Dallas Mavericks, so I'm loving that, especially as a 7th seed this is a good thing. The team has struggled all year with new players and several injuries but it has all come together at the right time to make a big push, because they're 'star' player Tim Duncan, he's not the physical specimen he used to be so this could be one of the final (albeit a longshot) attempts for a championship for the big fundamental.

The favourites - Cavs

Who else could it be? For the second year running they have won the regular season with the most wins and with a healthy squad of all 15 players they should breeze through the playoffs and into the finals, the only problem being the potential upenders...

Upenders - Magic

Orlando destroyed the odds last year when they upended Cleveland en route to the finals and they reloaded this year swapping one slightly passed it all-star for a slightly more past it (but slightly hungrier) all-star in Vince Carter. Btw I still love Vince I think he has a lot to offer and they have proved it by running up to the 2nd best record in the NBA.

Other potential winners - Lakers

You can never count out Kobe. Even though there will always be the 'Jordan is better' slogan hanging over him he is the only player that I have seen that truly has the killer instinct in him that even comes close to his Airness. The problem right now is Kobe's body is falling apart just a Morris Minor going down a cobble-stone street. He only has three fingers on his shooting hand, has knee and back problems and it seems that the rest of his team only want to play when Kobe is playing well, so they'll be interesting in the final rounds but should be in the Western Conference Championship (with Spurs).

The Darkhorse - Spurs

This may be me getting a little bias excitement but I truly believe everything has come at the right time for the boys in San Antonio. When you compare the other teams in the West; Suns and Blazers are gonna beat each other up for 7 games, Denver is on the brink of being forced out by a frankly weaker Utah Jazz, and even though I really want to root for OKC I think I do have to reluctantly agree with many critics that say that they can fight but not upset the Lakers... yet. Which could leave the Spurs in the Conference finals with the Lakers which I think would be more of a chess game between the two legendary coaches rather than all out talent. So we might see San Antonio in the NBA Finals one final year, whether they'll beat Cleveland (or if anyone can) is another conversation but I'm not counting them out just yet.

Maybe there'll be an update next week, we can see how my predictions are turning out

PEACE

Thoughts for the day

Skateboards!

Skatboards seem to be the cool thing for teenagers between 12 and 16 right now in Prague. Has anyone else noticed the number of people you see with a skateboard around this age? And it's not as if you even see them riding said boards, they're holding them.

In the past week I've probably seen 20-30 people with skateboards, a total of 3 have been riding them and those people were over the age of 25 easily. This says to me that the skateboard is less of a hobby for the majority of these teenagers and more-so a fashion accessory.

I rode skateboards when I was younger, as did a lot of my friends and when I was out with it, I hated being off it. Granted being in Prague with cobblestones everywhere doesn't make you really wanna ride that much but the people you see with them, don't look to be the kind of people that would regularly work up a sweat skating (fat). Also their boards look in pretty decent condition, like they've hardly been ridden. I personally used to go through skateboards every couple of months, they cost a fortune I know but through the amount I used them (and the amount I failed to land any trick I attempted) they'd usually end up pretty battered pretty quickly.

You know what else is interesting? Paloma in Spanish means pidgeon. You know that actress/singer Paloma Faith? Her name means pidgeon religion. I wonder what she fills out on her census form?

That will be all...

Monkey Writing pt.2

Wake up silly rabbit. Wait don't get out of bed too fast though there may be a problem with the light fixtures. Good Ok we're back on track. All these distractions are getting the better of us, if we moved this in to the dining room we can get back to business.

Are we going to go through with the plan then? I believe so but previously Harold has found problems with this particular method of getting back.

Why? whats caused such a lack of confidence? Well everybody keeps on getting stabbed in the neck with pencils.

AAaahhhh godamnit you and your lack of imagination.

It was at this point that I stood up and stabbed him in the neck with a pencil.

The end

Show me the light

Even when you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel you know it's there, but if you can't actually see it at this point in the tunnel is it worth plowing on. Because it is there, you know it is, it's just the possibility of turning around or maybe escaping through a sewage tunnel might be an easier route. Especially if said tunnel has become increasingly frustrating and potentially not worth the bother - for this metaphor, lets just say there are a lot of other cars going through the same tunnel in rush hour.

The thing is, is there are other options open and even though the ultimate goal was to reach the end of the tunnel it's not as if there's any particular reward for reaching it (maybe the opportunity to earn a little more money) but when there are other things to see, people to do etc etc. it's like... really? The shortcut is there, it is an option.

Travel Writing: Corfu

The CD's didn't play music, or hold data, and I certainly didn't pay to put my images on them in TESCO. The silver discs look tacky when you see them at home, where they rid birds from play areas and farms. Here, however they look in place, and mirror the mirror image of the sun sparkling off the sea in the distance, as they dangle from the balcony ceiling.

Here, you overlook the long concave beach that is Agios Stefanos. Unlike its namesake on the opposite, most Easterly point of Corfu, this town is busy, but never feels saturated.

The long walk toward the valley town meanders past houses similar to the one at its peak. These houses have been turned into simple apartments that provide enough privacy for the tenants, whether you're there for a few days or several months.

The town offers what we would consider pubs rather than clubs. Nonetheless, dancing is encouraged, your own freeform or an opportunity to become part of the entertainment with traditional Greek dancers. Dancers, of whom seemed to please the majority of female traveller, for some odd reason unbeknownst to myself.

Back at the CD's, the view of the beach offers an inviting change of scene - as opposed to sitting privately, poolside in your peaceful villa, watching the birds as they feel comfortable enough to sit with you at the water's edge, and take a drink - the sea, sand and serene views of miniature islands a few hundred metres off-shore, cause even the most imaginative travel writers to fall back on mundane, mediocre metaphors... or alliteration as the case may be.

The path directly from the apartment opens up onto a part of the beach more peaceful and relaxed than that of further down. Although slightly more populated, this busier part of the beach has more opportunities for the tourists. The beach bar sat next to the beach volleyball court is twenty yards from the beach ice-cream van that nearly hides the beach sign offering some fun for the more ambitious fun lovers.

I met an older gentleman in the pub/club the previous night. He made me an offer. Unfortunately he was not interested paying a million pounds for my wife but instead offered a boat ride for the equivalent of about 20 pounds. No ordinary boat ride, this involved sitting on a rubber ring that was tied to the back of said boat as he hurtled around the quay.

They may not be from TESCO but the CD's do hold images of some sort. These images represent the family that own the house you stayed at, and their home downstairs. They are of the Greek Dancers, or being dragged along the water by a tugboat that looks like it can't reach 5 knots, let alone leave you shaking when you get off. These images are of Corfu, Greece and they will most definitely come up when scrolling through that ever-growing list, of where you'll want to retire.

Travel Writing: Dubai

Yes, no. White, black. Ying, Yang.

Most places often provide a middle ground; a maybe, a grey, a Yong perhaps? Cities, countries and the world as a whole has places that it can call ‘not so bad’. Dubai is unique, in so many ways.

On one hand Dubai is the most wonderful area, one combining natural beauty with genius man-made creations. These structures would make God regret not hiring the architects himself. The sand dunes are like the ocean. When looking out over these white powdered waves there is a sense of nothingness, until you turn around and find that the size of the mall in front of you equals that of entire cities. The detail 100 feet up the side of the building is the same detail that is just above the beautiful doorframe you enter. At night each bit of detail is lit up and amazingly seems even more inviting. Inside, you have a maze of attractions and if you’re tired of shopping you can step out of Dolce & Gabana, turn left and walk through an aquarium, or once you’ve stopped for a coffee, rent some blades and head out onto the ice rink. The big, bold and exciting can all be offered in one massive, completely air-conditioned set of walls.

You were waiting for it, so here’s the other hand. Anyone with a sense of culture will have read about Dubai being the modern country. But what is so unwritten about is its sense of half a job done. The buildings that are complete are the only thing that is complete. Throughout an entire day the building sites will have at most 3 or 4 visitors that appear to be builders. The people that aren’t Sheikhs are sitting outside with their dogs on the street or scraping by, running local shops.

A lot of this may be due to the world’s recession. There seems to be a constant source of trucks running through towns and cities, heading somewhere with a lot of building materials but where they end up, it’s not known. The evidence of development is thin.

It will be interesting to see what the country looks like in 5 years time, in 50 I have a feeling it will look like a modern America, but for the moment it’s either good or bad, and slowly but surely it’s working on the ugly, trying to find that middle ground.

Travel Writing: Prague

The Golden City, city in black and gold, the hundred-spire city. For a place to have this many nicknames you know it has to be good. Prague may not be as epic as Sydney but it’s real, it may not have the future of Tokyo but it holds so much in it’s past, and it may not be as respected as London but it’s beauty excels.

In many ways this city is a well-kept secret, but still it attracts thousands of tourists a day, so how has this juxtaposition become what it is?

Prague has a history that very few cities can compete with. America craves history so much because there is such a lack of it in the States, and while the British history is long and exciting, it gets flashed about due the glory that has come from it.

The history of this Bohemian land is on show everywhere you go in Prague. From Charles Bridge to giant babies climbing up a television tower, the city is a never-ending fountain of knowledge, not flashy but interesting.

A perfect example of history in the making is St Vitas’ cathedral. The cathedral is the central masterpiece of Prague Castle and building it took nearly 600 years to be completed. In 1344 the architects had a gothic architectural building in mind but as time went on, architecture itself changed and when it was finished in 1929, topped off with a renaissance style roof on the top of the tallest tower.

Old Town Square is always a buzz of excitement. Throughout the day there are constant presentations, market stalls, social occasions taking place and at night it reinvents itself. The churches and beautiful decorative buildings are lit up, the restaurants come alive and the beer starts flowing.

Beer in the Czech Republic is something else, to brew it you have to pass several laws and guidelines until it can be sold, so even the cheapest beer is still better than the expensive ones elsewhere. The country cousins of the Czech people always seem to be promoting their flavour of the month as well. Borcak is a Moravian wine with a sweet taste that has the essence of a punch or a cocktail but the character of a zinfadel.

The Orloj is what everyone goes to see on Old Town Square. An astronomical clock that tells you more than just what time it is. While the Orloj is only the world’s third oldest astronomical clock, it is the oldest still working machine and the level of care and thought put in to this clock (from 1410) is truly… astronomical.

Prague is also a relatively safe place. There are of course the stories that someone you know, knows someone who heard that their friend might have had something stolen. And it’s probably true, there are a lot of pick-pockets in the area, but there is never an essence of danger here. As long as you have your wits about you then there shouldn’t be any problems.

Realistically Prague will never be on the top of anyone’s list as a ‘must-see’ city but for every single person I’ve met that may have just ‘passed through’ or had a spare weekend free, all of them say the same thing. “I can’t believe we never went before”.

Has someone been drinking?

Yes, yes I have. Godamnit yesterday hurt. It may have been the most drunk I have ever been since I got to Prague.

So my first day off in possibly a month started at about 11.41 when I got message from my dear friend Ruth who text me;

'Want to see if the pedalos are open today, could be fun?'

I got up and wiped the sleep out of my eyes, and struggled to reply;

'Yes'

I left it until my alarm went off at 12.00 then proceeded to the fridge where I opened up the milk that technically went out of date the day before but it still smells ok now, so I opened and chugged, eugh, I really should have thrown it out yesterday. So I put the top back on and put it back in the fridge, hoping it won't get much worse tomorrow.

I then did the usual showering, finding the cleanest clothes etc and made my way to the waterfront, of course stopping by the potraviny on the way. Ruth and I bought some homeless wine, some bread and cheese, and jumped on the pedlo because quite frankly there is nothing - absolutely nothing - half so much worth doing as simply messing about on boats.

We spent about an hour messing about talking about love, life and chastity.

After stepping off, onto solid land, it was only then we realised how drunk the homeless wine had made us while we were rocking along the river that we felt it was important we get an ice-cream and finish off the second bottle of homeless wine. To do this however we needed to call in some reinforcements. We met our third tricycle wheel at her house and Katka grabbed a beer as well so we could head down to the waterfront and all drink and continue the chat that Ruth and I had begun earlier.

After a few too many we decided that wasn't enough and joined Janin (Jana and Justin) up at Letna, Mark was there to which is always a pleasure. We continued beering and chatting for a further two hours until it became abundantly clear to everyone at the table that Ruth and I had been drinking for six hours and hadn't really eaten anything.

We moseyed on down to Katka's who at this point had managed to rustle up something to eat.

After a few more beers at Katka's it was time to go get drunk...

BAR CRAWL!

I would like to write about the next few hours, but the majority of it is a blur. I remember playing foosball and losing a lot, but then I won and retired on top. I remember... dancing? at one point... and that's about it.

Twas a good day/night

Cau for now

The Next Step

So making decisions and taking steps are hard we know this. You've got the four major decisions as an adult that take place at the end of school/university, jobs, and at the start of marriage or kids.

However life is full of those little ones that annoy you along the way. The average life of a 21 year old is rather complicated - at that point in life where you are between studying and a job, or travelling and settling down. There are plenty of opportunities to do whatever whenever, especially in todays economic climate the right decision is important to make. Taking a year out to (according to the tax man) work for free doesn't make the student loans company happy, or Natwest for that matter, yet shouldn't I be focusing on the fun things in life now rather than when I have people relying on me to provide for them?

It is my confession that this totally scares the crap out of me, in several months time this decision will have to be made again, just as it had to be made last year. That decision involved me making a major change in my life, personally I think then it was the right decision and while people may have got hurt in the process, myself included it is not a regrettable decision. By the end of this summer however, this may not be the confession of a tour guide, perhaps it will be the confession of a teacher, a student (again), a husband, a father (Ok maybe not that soon but you know what I mean). Decisions have to be made to factor in everything in life that has to be addressed.

Then of course is that 5th major decision that no one really enjoys admitting.

That L word.

In the past, people I am close to have made the wrong decisions about following that special someone, to the other side of the world, a different university, a new city and some of them have been mistakes, some of them however have not.

This provides an interesting conversation as to exactly what one would do when put in that situation, I guess I'll find out at some point but for now procrastination is the key. Decisions will be made, later.

Cau for now

It's that

Shephards Pie

It's weird how feelings can manifest themselves, from one thing to another, and not just good feelings, bad feelings also. How quickly things can turn is quite amazing; whether it be about a certain subject, political allegiance, a person, or everybody's favourite; the opposite sex.

Everyone has that honeymoon period, whether it be in love, sport, music, or making shephards pies.

In love - everyone has experienced the feeling of those first few weeks/months/years in a new exciting relationship where everything is racing. You can't bare to be apart, they are the first thing you think of in the morning, the last thing at night. Unfortunately, routine eventually takes over, which is what leads some people to get into twisted sex games and seek out adventure, but is there really much wrong with routine?

In sport - when a new player arrives, or a coach, or under new management, everybody wants to play well for them. Especially if that particular team is having a rubbish year, it's a new leaf a chance to turn things around and a great opportunity to make the most of it, unfortunately this eventually wears off unless more changes arrive, but even then athletes get old, their skills fade, but won't you always have those memories to look back on with pride.

In music - it's always the latest sensation, when a brand new act bursts on to the scene with a brand new sound taking the world by storm. The haircuts, the fashion trends, the whole world looks at you. Unfortunately this excitement will eventually wear out and everyone is playing the same sound you brought to the table a few years before, the women all start looking the same and the life grows tiresome. But to inspire a generation with music that touches peoples hearts is truly something to hold on to.

In shephards pie - you start cooking it and become really good at it but if you cook it everyday, you'd probably grow tired of its taste. I do love shephards pie though. ;)

Just some random thoughts, keep looking on the bright side of life folks, this world has beauty in it, although it may get stale at times, there is always the reason you were happy in the first place, hold on to that and you'll be happy for the rest of your life.

Monkey Writing

There once was a boy named Harold who had a lot on his plate so he ate it, and then he fancied something to drink, the problem was is that it never really panned out that way.

You see Harold couldn't find the drink that he was so desperately after, someone must have drunk it he thought. This made Harold angry so he decided to go in search of whoever drunk his favourite drink.

He went upstairs and asked Henry. Henry assured Harold that it was not him as he doesn't even know what his favourite drink is, to which Harold replied "well how do you know you didn't drink it, if you don't know what my favourite drink is to begin with?".

Henry said, "you have a point there Harold, maybe I did drink it, but if I did it was by accident so what are you going to do about it?"

At this point Harold got a pen from Henry's desk and stabbed him in the face.

The end

Bureaucracy

Working for a major corporation is like being in a CRUFTs competition; Jump through this hoop, walk this line, sit, beg, then we might give a treat.

Nearly everybody has been in the position of doing something where the reward may not always be worth it. Ultimately I can't complain because never will I earn money this easy again, but I do have good knowledge that it happens in any major company, we are the puppets they are the master. Even for those people who are lucky enough to own their own small business that they live comfortably off, they still have to report to the tax man, Union officials, and essentially have to meet the demands of those who own a slightly bigger company. Herein is where the problem lies.

Don't get me wrong, I'm all for the socialist regime and even parts of a capitalist program, never in my life do I want to be ruled by communism but on paper it doesn't look that bad does it?

Everyone working for each other, helping one another out, you scratch my back - I'll scratch yours attitude. Why can't people just live? Why is it that we need to report to 'the man' that we have to pay the powers that be to continue to be the powers that be when quite frankly the powers that be can occasionally be assholes.

Now, I 'm a fairly laid back guy, some people call it lazy but I choose to take the less pessimistic approach (it's not like it takes any extra effort), so I am willing to let things slide. Life can pass me by and if I get shouted at told off, then I'll make some sort of effort to settle problems but if I quickly realise some people just aren't worth bothering over I won't bother. There is the odd moment inside of me though that when another one of my fellow puppets occasionally pulls back on that string when the master may do an incorrect movement and I think 'damnit you're right'.

Like I said quite frankly I don't give too much of a damn if I know I'm right and someone tells me off for making the smallest insignificant problem but occasionally I want to shout back as well and let the puppeteer what an ass he is being, so I do admire those people who give it a go.

Unfortunately this world will never go back to the state of friendly back scratchers so those people at the bottom of the heap like you and I, just have to look out for each other and hopefully the dog owner will feed us the odd treat or two.

Until then we've always got bureaucracy.

Your step by step guide to utter relaxation

Turn on the hob

Put some water in the saucepan

Place the saucepan on the moderately warm hob

Grab a mug

Grab a tea bag

Open the fridge, get the milk

Open the cupboard, get the sugar

Put tea bag in mug

Search the apartment for a clean spoon

I've been looking for this sock

Put the sock in the washing machine

Aha!

Take on me, take me on

Focus

Wash the crud off the spoon

Hmm, need some new washing up liquid

Water is starting to boil

Grab the oven gloves

Pour contents of saucepan into mug

Replace saucepan, turn off hob

Use the spoon to squeeze the tea bag and stir

Remove tea bag, place it on top of the pile that was once a bin

Add some milk

Add one sugar, stir

Stir the opposite direction

Stir in the original direction

Tap the spoon on the mug twice and dump it in the sink

Take mug to couch and sit

Get up and grab biscuits

Return to couch

Aaahhhhhhhh

Typical Conversations with tourists; make it your checklist!

Tourist: What did you study?

Me: Creative Writing with Drama

Tourist: Drama? (chuckles) I thought so

Me: (fake chuckle) Yeah

Tourist: Where are you from?

Me: Wales.

Tourist: Oh...

Me: It's in Britain

Tourist: Ooooohhhhhh right I know

Me: So where are you from?

Tourist: The US

Me: (wow that American accent really threw me off, how f*&@ing stupid do you think I am asshole? the US is a big f*&@ing place, you wanna be a little more specific?) Oh cool which part?

Tourist: So what do you do here?

Me: (are you serious?) I'm a tour guide

Tourist: You don't study or anything?

Me: Nope just a tour guide

Tourist: (interesting career choice)

Me: How long have you been traveling for?

Tourist: 3 months now

Me: Cool where else have you been?

Tourist: Well I've been to London, Paris, Amsterdam...

Me: Oh cool

Tourist: Munich, Berlin

Me: Nice

Tourist: But next we're going to...

Me: (I wonder what bagel I'll have today)

Tourist: ...Krakow...

Me: (I haven't had the Caprese one in a while) Oh cool

Tourist: ...Bratislava...

Me: (Wow that girl across the street is pretty) Nice I wanna go there

Tourist: ...Budapest...

Me: (Should I go out tonight?) Oh I hear that's split into two like, Buda and Pest

Tourist: Yeah that's what I heard, I can't wait to go there

Me: (la di da di dooby doo)

... more to come

Ciao for now

The first sign of insanity is talking to yourself

Hello how are you?

Oh I'm ok how's things, long time no write.

Yeah I know been busy recently... well I say busy, I've been drunk a lot and not had time for such internet escapades.

That's Ok, it's good to see you so have you just been getting drunk or doing anything more exciting?

Umm...

How's work?

Picking up actually, the weather is tolerable, as are the tourists and money is improving.

Good good I'm glad to hear it.

How about you is there anything new going on in your life?

Lots! but you know how it is, tourists in and out, friends coming and going, some in America, some coming back from America, others busy with people, me being busy with other people etc, wish I had more time for everyone I wanna see tbh but this life is a hectic one

True that, anyway I better go man catch up with you later.

Yeah definitely I'll give you a post in a bit.

Cool, ciao

The ballet

The female glides with grace and beauty

The male with power and prowess

They remain in sync through each rise and fall

at one with each caress

The dancers move to another stage

to change their form

The female lifts the male high

to break from the norm

Another leap another pirouette

A performance of which no one will forget

Movie Review: Up in the Air

I don't normally do this sort of thing, or at least I doubt I'll do it too often on this blog but I watched 'Up in the Air' the other day and wanted to write about it. Enjoy:

A life of freedom, a life of floating aimlessly through the sky with nothing holding you back. It sounds like a dream to some people and increasingly more with the younger generation.

A life of loneliness, a life that leads nowhere with no place to actually call your home. That is the reality.

Up in the Air tells the story on Ryan Bingham (Clooney) who has made his living flying from state to state firing people, he’s good at it and due to his lifestyle he has nothing really holding him back, he even sidelines as a motivational speaker offering advice on how important it is to have no one relying on you. His only dream is to reach 10 million air miles saved from flying so often.

The story follows a classic tale of a single man enjoying life only to find a woman along the way of whom will change his whole life. Alex Goran (Vera Farmiga) is a frequent flyer also and spends a lot of time in hotels – not as much as Bingham but enough that they are able to meet up on the road for casual moments.

There is also the story of Natalie Keener, which introduces us to the beautiful Anna Kendrick, a young upstart who has taken the same job as Ryan Bingham, a position she is overqualified for but makes the sacrifice for love.

Bingham’s perfect life of solitude and freedom is interrupted when his boss Craig Gregory – with Jason Bateman playing his usual role of office manager to perfection – lets Ryan know that this young bright spot for the company will be shadowing him to learn the tricks of the trade. The two are polar opposites in personality which creates dramatic, awkward, and sometimes hilarious moments as the two attempt to co-exist on the road together, with it’s toll clearly being taken on Natalie.

The three characters find themselves all at one hotel in Miami when Natalie’s boyfriend breaks up with her out of the blue they all begin to bond as a unit and Bingham discovers that his fancy in Alex begins to blossom even though he discovers she is interested in children and marriage. This becomes clear to Natalie and she confronts Ryan about it

He decides to take that next big scary step and invites Alex to his sisters wedding – it is here Ryan has to reverse his entire life’s philosophy to make sure his sister’s husband to be follows through with the marriage and at his next motivational speech he can’t finish and runs to the airport to fly to Chicago to surprise his new found love.

When he arrives she is at home with her children, and husband, Ryan understands that he has just been an affair all along.

The movie ends with Natalie’s story becoming the happy one, and Ryan’s coming full circle, he returns to the air to what is his true life and attains that 10 million goal he set himself, it hurts but he has achieved it, the rest of his life can now begin being put together.

The film touches some truly emotional peaks and Ryan’s story, while disappointing that he didn’t get the girl of his dreams does mean that he has learnt a lesson, Natalie’s life however is only just beginning and she finds to dream job in another city – she gains that freedom Ryan finally wants to get rid of, and Alex returns to her family.

The aerial shots of each city are fantastic and the production in to each location has been wonderfully put together, even though one or two of the camera angles and movements may be questionable the film as a whole hits a chord that is so rarely hit in modern cinema, it tells the story. The narrative is the most important bit and the audience becomes emotionally invested by each personality trait that each of the characters hold, there is a little bit of everyone in them.

Up in the Air is safely in the category of Film of the Year award, while it may not win it, there is a huge argument for it being so.

4 ½ out of 5

Where everybody knows your name

• Green grass everywhere
• Time to blog
• You know your neighbors
• Everyone speaks English - or Welsh
• Nothing changes
• Seeing friends
• Music
• Pub Quizzes
• Always seeing someone you know
• Television
• Pool tables in every pub
• Guitar
• All stories, all things, good and bad

Talking

I enjoy talking to you above everyone else

Whether we talk on the phone or face to face

I feel at ease when we are talking

Even if our talking doesn't involve speech

When you're talking, your voice is so sweet

Sometimes your talking is just mumbling in your sleep

Our talks sometimes end up being about nothing

But nothing can be said when we're not talking

...where the heart is.

Four days off nothing to do. Ring up my moms tell her what's going on, she says come home, I figure - woop woop!

So with my parents having a tough time of their own and needing a child home they were willing to pay for the last minute flights which worked well for me as I had no money. I was also desperate to go home as I'd basically worked everyday I had free since Christmas, I was tired and the new team leader knew this so she wonderfully gave me a few days off.

The flights were booked at about 7 o clock on Sunday so I had to then run around like a headless chicken trying to sort my life out; pack, sort out my phone with a british sim, print out my boarding pass, confirm my passport details, tidy my apartment but before all this I had to go let Katka cook me some food and go for a pint to watch the Canadians beat the Americans for the gold in Winter Olympics. (Boo ya!).

After watching the first period I decided I did actually have to go sort some stuff out, (turns out I'd miss all the good parts of an awesome game but hey ho) and boy did I need to sort stuff out. I realised that I had to pay rent the next day so text my landlord and let him know I'd pay it as soon as I got back - he wasn't happy so I had to go withdraw money I don't have to go pay him. Ever had a 9000 crown kick in the crotch? It hurts.

It was now close to half eleven and I still hadn't packed.

I threw some pants in an overnight bag and thought feck it.

The internet I was stealing off someone got turned off, I thought about complaining to my next door neighbor but just decided to wake up up early to head to an internet cafe to sort out all my flight information.

Another night off crappy sleep.

Alarm goes off 7.45 - wake up at 8.15.

Sort out my shit get running to bohemia bagel to pick up Ruth's friends cos they're going to the airport as well. After some breakfast and the trip to Letiste Ryzne, the plane began boarding.

Is there a better feeling than coming home? I love being in Prague, I loved being in University but when you are on the last leg of your journey coming home there is something amazing about that feeling. Just to know that you can relax, you don't have to work. I may travel often and live in a different country that I love but my holiday is coming home, and especially when someone is waiting for you when you walk out of that gate at the airport. It just makes you feel special.

The most important letters

One of the most important letters in the English dictionary for me is the letter 'R'. The second most important letter, is 'R'.

Although I'm sure you understand and appreciate the expression Rest and Recouperation allow me to fully explain how important this act is.

As those of you who read this most likely all know me rather well, you'll understand I'm never a person to be in a rush. I don't feel the need to panic over things and it's not like I'm going to be trying to fit too much into my day. However from time to time things, simply get too much.

Many people I know are a lot busier than myself, they thrive on being busy and in many ways this is why I think my friendship with these people works so well because I am quite the opposite.

So when a full day has arrived these people will have planned it out step by step and know where they have to be and what they have to be doing at certain times. If these people book too much to fill in for that day, or if someone asks a favour (quite often usually me) this may completely throw off the balance they've had planned for the day by trying to fit this extra thing in.

I find these people are the ones who need some R+R more than anybody else but they are the ones who just can't seem to do it.

Myself, I hardly ever need R+R because I never fill up my day with things to do, some may call it lazy, I... tend to agree but sometimes I do have times where I do certain things out of character.

I can occasionally be impulsive and this, well this is a good thing I feel but can sometimes lead to bad things happening. Over Christmas I went home and it was fantastic, when I got back I got straight into work for a week, I then went to Madrid, and the moment I came home from Madrid began working while deciding to go to Germany the following month. I worked everyday between Madrid and Germany and while both these trips were very enjoyable, travelling is not always the most relaxing thing to do as you want to see things, do stuff and live to the fullest while you've got that time away. Upon my return from Germany I began working again.

Granted my work load rarely consists of over about 4 hours however without a real day off, this lifestyle can get quite draining, add to the fact that as part of this job there is almost an expectation to show your face at the evening's social events (that's my excuse anyway), the candle can turn into nothing rather quickly if it's burnt at both ends.

R+R the two most important letters, not only does it give you time to chill out but it gives you time to evaluate your relationships with others, your lifestyle choices and more ultimately what you can do to improve yourself around others.

Ciao for Now

Something stupid

When you take a risk are you supposed to way up the pros and cons or do what feels right from the gut?

That risk could be life threatening, love threatening or even career threatening, but at the same time do you really want to be thinking what if?

Game time decisions can sometimes come back to haunt you however you will never know the other outcome for no matter how long you live because, well, you didn't do it.

To play it safe is to go through life plodding along with nothing to make your life... worth it. If you were to take no risks by the time you are on your death bed would you look back on it and say 'that was an awesome ride' or would it sound more like 'that was pleasant'.

Quite frankly I'd prefer the former which is why I think it's important to take risks. Are they scary? Sure. Might you fail? Of course. Is it better to stay at home living in a bubble and read books for the rest of your life with gloves on in case of a paper cut? Don't be so stupid.

Life is for living, if you make a mistake, the mistake has been made. Mistakes are not regrets and you can't take it back so learn from it, appreciate it and then when that black hooded figure comes knocking on the door to your house on life street, maybe you'll be happy to shut the door and leave the key.

Still though... maybe I shouldn't do it?

An important apology

Dear Readers

Recently this blog has taken a new theme with looking at other cultures and seeing what makes them, them. I previously released two of these blogs; one of them being about the Czech people and another about the Spanish.

In these blogs my intention was to write an open account of a first perception of each of these cultures without any type of filter or censorship. That's the bonus of having an open blog on the internet, and while I knew some of the comments may have been controversial I never intended on them being offensive.

This hasn't been the case, and I feel upset about the fact that I may have offended certain people, not only of that culture but some dear friends.

So for this I apologise and I have removed the original posts. While I do intend on continuing to write about cultures, I will aim in future to take a more positive and careful approach.

Once again I am sorry if any of my previous posts have offended anyone, and I hope you do continue to read about some of the crap I enjoy writing.

Yours Sincerely

Huw Hopkins

GERMANY!!!

List: Germany

• 'I spy with my little eye something beginning with G.'
• If a you choose to hit and humiliate instead of talk, you are a coward. Simple as.
• 'I now dub thee Ruth Dora-Archer the Scapegoat'
• Some people can just drive.
• 'As one does.'
• Two women navigating can occasionally produce positive results.
• Banana beer is just straight up awesome.
• Having no credit, no internet and no way to contact some people would suck if there were no long term solution.
• Germans are not Nazis
• It's important to get checked.

Full blog on Germany coming to computer screen near you soon.

Confusing Forks

A poor mans fork only has two prongs, but say you have one pea on your plate, which one do you use to pick it up?

It's confusing, it's annoying, and really you knew that it would come down to that final pea all along.

You choose to do it with the one on the left and it squeezes away, for some reason it should have always been the other prong.

Luckily I am not ultimately poor, but that leaves you with more prongs, more options, more confusion, and way more annoying results.

Una Mas Fiesta - 30/1/10

After writing yesterdays post we were happy watching Spanish game shows and playing silly puzzles but David insisted we go out for a coffee and a walk through Azequeca. We agreed and figured we may as well enjoy the village on our last night.

We only got 1 block from David’s house when he bumped into his brother’s friend’s father. He was the father of a Toredor – a trained bull fighter. After being invited into his home Ruth and I began watching SpongeBob Squarepants – in Spanish and all of a sudden we were told to put our jackets back on a moved us into a car. Without any explanation as to where we are going my mind started racing – perhaps he would dress me and Ruth up as bulls and get his son to kill us. But I was being rather dramatic. We travelled a little way outside the village and arrived at this very traditional bar just outside. Beers were ordered along with some amazing Tapas. There was choizo (which by now I had fallen quite in love with), chicken, bread topped with some cheesy, veggie concoction, potatoes, ear of pig, a type of black pudding and so much more. The food was fantastic and we were then given a traditional Spanish alcoholic beverage to ease the food down (with ice of course). We were then given a refreshing, minty shot of something that totally brought us to life and made me and Ruth begin to feel quite drunk.

As we left; David’s brother’s friend’s father insisted we pay for nothing and they invited us back to theirs. We reluctantly accepted after much insistence but this proved to be a good thing.

In a Toredor’s home it is traditional to have a basment to act as a trophy room in which said Tordor can sit in before his contest to gain inspiration. We were taken down and the basement was incredible.It had been completely done out as a bar, a really professional, place where I’d like to drink regularly kind of bar. It was dolled up to the nines with pictures of his son in action, horns from bulls he had previously killed, several fridges chock o’block full of traditional Spanish beer, wonderful trinkets and mugs from all over Spain and the piece-de resistance a rack about 10 bottles high and 20 wide of vintage wines.

We were offered drinks left, right and centre from this extremely proud father, including wine that was a smooth as syrup and taste of silk, straight out of one of his many barrels.

While they spoke no English and our Spanish not being much better we were assured – through David – that they were extremely proud to have us in their home and the father insisted on giving us a vintage bottle from his personal cellar and to avoid mine and Ruth’s embarrassment, David didn’t share us the details of how much it would cost a normal human being. It was the perfect souvineir and a perfect ending to a truly interesting holiday.

Or at least that’s what we thought.

The following day started like most of the others – set the alarm for 9, woke up at 11. We packed everything up and into the car not forgetting our vintage wine, then Ruth and I made our way into the village centre.

We wanted tobuy some flowers for David’s mother for providing us with such great hospitality.

Upon our return we got in the car made our way in the opposite direction to the airport. By now we had learnt not to question our travel destination. We were taken to David’s grandparents where we met up with what felt like his entire family, meanwhile knowing for a fact that it wasn’t half. We were given a three course meal and shown through family photo alnums – clearly family is sacred here in Spain. We eventually said our final goodbyes and made our to the airport where I’m writing this saying my final goodbye to this part of the journal.

Madrid, finally - 29/1/10

So yesterday David had to spend it revising which allowed me and Ruth to have our own little adventure in Madrid. Before then we hadn’t really seen the city but that would change today.

We caught the train in and arrived about 11. The lady at the station gave us a map and circled some buildings and told us where certain ones are we had our eye on. The only thing we had to go see was the Reina Sofia as they had an exhibition on surrealism, cubism and this building held the masterpiece that is the Goernica.

But before all that we had to see the rest of the cty and we decided to at first head to Plaza Mayor.

In comparison to Prague – Madrid is huge, like ginormous, its expanse is ridiculous. So when me and Ruth started walking we figured it would take a while but we forgot that Prague – is tiny.

Where it would take you ten minutes to get anywhere in Prague this walk was about half an hour, which, as it turns out, is not that long.

We walked through the archway past Plaza Santa Cruz and this huge area opened up to us.

The sun had caused a beautiful shadow over half the square so coffee houses in the sunny area were all buzzing – not busy though. El Casa Mayor had some beautiful murials painted in to the architecture and there was a lone state on horseback sitting right in the centre. There was a single saxaphone player, playing music that filled this massive enclosed square so we decided to indulge in a little Spanish breakfast, chocolate and churros.

The most important thing about Spain is no the rush, because no one else is. We waited for half an hour for the churros to come and then relaxed for another 20 minutes after we finished. When we did decide to make a move the next stop was going to be the Royal Palace. To tour the palace itself cost about 8€ so we decided against that andwent to check out the cathedral while we were there. Once you’ve seen one Catholic Cathedral in Europe you’ve seen them all. Catedral de Ntra. Sra. De la Almundena was different though. This seemed to be more modern than usual, as if it had been re-done by some 20^th Cneture artist, and this may have been the case.

The entire building seemed to form the shape of a cross with most of it looking very traditional at first glance but when taking a closer inspection, we see that the stained glass windows are almost cubist in their design and the celing looks like a tasteful 60’s acid trip, adding flare to a building that in most cities are in danger of boring their followers. It was clearly still active though as we saw a live confession taking place.

We decided to see the Royal Gardens or Jardin de Sabitini. The patterns in the bushes were shaped like mazes and each fountain we saw was as impreseive (if not moreso) than the one before.

We meandered our way through the mazes and briefly saw Parque del Oeste, before realising we’d been going for nearly 3 hours. It was coffee time and we decided to go to the café in the Royal Palace for an overpriced we even managed to sneak in the main courtyard to see what was around after that. The Royal Café was to expensive to get food in as well so we decided to have a makeshift picnic.

We stopped at a 24 hour shop to get some bread, cheese, chorizo, fruit and crisps. Top it all off with a little Sangria and we have a meal fit for Kings. We decided to eat to eat in Prague del Retiro in front of the lake on the steps of Monumento a Algonso XII.

The sky was blue, not a cloud in the sky just the warmth of the sun beaming down on our faces. This day was turning out to be the best ever. We also managed to find an English paper and enjoyed a good hour’s R+R.

That reluctant feeling to move from your bed in the morning usually means you have to get up. This feeling had dawned upon us but we decided to head over to the other side of the lake and ease our terribly hectic day back into action by bobbing along the lake on a boat for a bit.

The time had now reached half five and we needed to start make a move to complete our only set task for the day of heading to the art museum.

We began to mosey our way out of the park and head back to where we first started. We’d managed to do a complete circle walk as the museum was just next door to the train station. Along the way we noticed several book stalls exiting the park. Similar to ones you find in Paris. They were all second hand books and magazines with the majority of them in Spanish but Ruth found an old French art magazine that she loved and insisted on buying as well as a ‘history of flying’ book that her Dad would have loved – had it been in English.

Finally it was time to make our way to the museum, just after a quick coffee – you’d be a fool to head into a museum without one in your system. So we grabbed a quick espresso and at 7 made it across the street to Centro de Arte Reina Sofia.

After 7 it was free and this worked well for us so we began walking through the main exhibitions. I saw a wonderful video of Buster Keaton and Patsy Cline called ‘Another Perfect Day’. I also spent time reading letters and notes from Pablo Picasso as well as plenty of his work. I made my way to the Salvador Dali exhibition where I encountered a new found respect for him and learned to really appreciate his work but it was time to join Ruth in the main Picasso showcase.

It’s prefix was called ‘Europe at War’ and it took you through the Spanish Civil Wars, the World Wars and expanded your mind into what you were about to see. The exhibit also began showing you slives of the final piece in it’s original drafts – seceral heads of mothers crying, horses dying, severed arms until you turned into the final room to experience the Goernica.

The piece covered most of the wall and potrayed the horror of war in Picasso’s popular Cubist style. Ruth had already been showing at it for 15 minutes but I joined for another ten and I had to consciously close my jaw at least twice. To try and describe this work would do it a disservice, just believe me when I say, it has to be seen.

We slowly began being ushered out and proceeded as we knew the day had barely begun, not in Spain at least. We brought a quick Burger King and caught the train back to David’s by about 22.15. We had barely walked through the door when we were being pushed back out because tonight was a fiesta.

While walking back to the train station David’s friend saw us and stopped, he was driving so took us back into Madrid.

Me and Ruth had one final tourist moment when we stopped to have a few drunks outside the Bernabeu, Real Madrid’s football stadium. As massive building and very impressive but it was no Millennium Stadium.

We then proceeded to the club known as ‘Lemon’ and after 20 mins of waiting in line to enter and a further 45 wasted in failing to get a drink, myself and Ruth left feeling that we had wasted 10€.

We went next door to a bar that may as well be British and felt much more at home. After a few beers, and games of pool, we decided to try ‘Lemon’ again.

It was a bit more successful then our previous attempt and the night got back on track. Ruth and I were both taught to dance-Latin style and we kept going til gone six. Which of course meant we got back to David’s at 8. We went straight to bed and didn’t wake up until 5.