Brolly Conduct

Have you ever stood at a bus stop when it's raining? There's no room under the shelter so you are left to stand in the rain, surrounding you are several other people with umbrellas. I'm going to take a moment to break this situation down two-fold.

Problem 1: Lack of you're own umbrella

Now everybody has a day where they are feeling particularly retarded, perhaps you are one of those people that it happens often to - you are not alone, or maybe you just don't own a brolly, in which case that's your own fault. However everybody has a day where they are left with no protection from the harsh rain. Should you spot one of these people, be a hero, offer them to share. Now understandably if there are three people under your umbrella already then I'm sure Mr Being-rained-upon won't mind. If you are the grumpy sod who's standing there in a suit, waiting to go to your big lawyer meeting, holding your briefcase with a lack of flamboyance to look professional but loud enough look to impress people, whilst listening to spoken word, pretentious poetry on your iPhone that's reserved for music because you prefer Blackberrys for texting then throw another person a bone. Offer them to share your umbrella. It's just nice.

Problem 2: Too many brollys!

Everyone's stood in a crowd at a bus stop or a street crossing and been surrounded by sensible people with umbrellas and you have remembered yours today. It's pandemonium. You get tangled up, bang one into the other, maybe tear a hole in one from one of your spokes then you feel guilty but don't want to offer them yours because, well... you'll get wet. It's the same when walking down the street and you see a sea of dry people with they're own protective covers on a stick. Now this particular situation takes some skill and discipline but can be overcome. It's all to do with eye-contact. You have to make sure each person you pass knows what you're going to do with your umbrella when you both pass and attempt to avoid a brolly collision. A flick of the wrist to the left early can allow the on-comer to do the same ever so slightly so when you pass both people can remain dry by keeping the umbrellas close enough to keep the rain out by acting like a moving jigsaw puzzle. This is probably the hardest maneuver to execute but the simplest - and my personal favourite - for the Brolly Rookies (i.e. Australians, Californians) is the old Up and Under. Sounds, as it is. Again with eye contact you let the opposite umbrella holder your thought process and whoever makes the first move will raise their umbrella high enough to avoid the other one while they lower there's ever so slightly. It's smooth efficient and executed correctly can keep everybody dry.

Keep that in mind next time it's raining, especially when you remember to take your umbrella.

Signing off.