The Underpants Embargo

There comes a point in every man's life, in which they have to face the inevitable. One has to step up to the plate, take the hit, take that extra step toward truly becoming an independent human being with much to gain out of life.

There comes a point in every man's life, where you have to buy your own underwear.

As a male in this species we call human, this concept is new to all of us at some point and I'm sure anyone reading will fully understand completely, but for those of you, perhaps many of them women, who don't understand, allow me to ellaborate.

As a women sure you do have underwear bought for you up until a certain age, but you are almost eased into buying your own underwear by going out with your mother to buy underwear for yourself, this then leads into you going shopping with your friends to buy underwear and you become very adept and comfortable with performing this task from a younger age, lets say for arguments sake, early puberty.

Now lets flip the coin. The average twelve/thirteen year old boy, firstly would hate to have been seen dead with their mother shopping, not to mention shopping in a store that has male AND female underwear practically on the same rack. In some higher classed boutiques, you may be lucky enough to have an aisle in between the areas but the level of embarrassment for a boy who's voice jumps up and down like a kangaroo on speed to be discussing a small cloth that covers the area they are the most self conscious about, IN PUBLIC, is just straight up, ridonkulous.

So because of this crazy level of embarrassment in said situation, young, adult, pubescent males refuse to go shopping with their mother to buy underwear. Thus the mother becomes solely in charge of buying the underwear. There is an exception to this rule, during Christmas for example when Mum doesn't buy the underwear, Santa does. During the majority of the time though, no boy will ever buy their own underwear.

Which brings us up to the present day. I am a 21 year old male, and I have never bought my own underwear. How is it done? Where do I go? Should I set a budget? Do I want sexy underwear, or go for comfort? What is sexy underwear on a male anyway?

These are the problems I am faced with ladies and gentlemen especially since the job I currently do requires me to expect a lot more out of my underwear as I walk around constantly, completely juxtaposing their original job of collecting my farts.

So wish me luck, because whether it be tomorrow, the next day, or a year from now I, Huw Hopkins will have to step up to the plate, take the hit, take that extra step toward truly becoming an independent human being with much to gain out of life. I will have to buy my own underwear.